i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
