You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
