Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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