i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
