i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
