you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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