Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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