Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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