great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
