I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
