just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
