Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
