My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
