Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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