Dual....:-)
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
