Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
