that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
