Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
