Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
