People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
