I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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