We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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