I cockslap morals
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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