Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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