escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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