Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
