Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
