Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
