Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
