Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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