paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Another day, another engagement, another cat
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
