we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
