Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
