I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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