My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
