just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Holy sore nipples Batman
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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