i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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