is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
