We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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