A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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