We named our party play list daddy issues
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
