Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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