my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
