they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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