i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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