I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
