Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
