Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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