Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
