it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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