I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The air was thick with penises
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
