Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
